I need to write
Some context for this piece: After a distinct period of intense reflection, I can write more freely than ever before. My earlier attempts at writing were fraught with insecurity. My fears, in no particular order: I was afraid my writing wouldn’t be good enough (what does “good enough” even mean?). I was afraid my writing would anchor me in the minds of others at a single point in time despite my evolving nature (who cares what they think?). I was afraid people would perceive me to be an arrogant person due to my writing (oof, got me there). I’ve been an arrogant person and my writing back then would have been arrogant. Deep down, it probably still is.
My misconception on writing is that writing implies sharing — it doesn’t. The act of writing is separate from the act of sharing. Some people may only write for themselves. I imagine they do so in fun little leather bound books with beautifully formed letters, snugly tucked away where no one is permitted to ever see. I imagine they use writing to introspect, process, and understand themselves but I’ll never really know. Other people share their writing to communicate. I try not to believe my thoughts are more valuable than others so communication cannot be my writing’s core purpose. For me, writing feels most natural when it helps me learn. If sharing my writing can help me learn more than keeping it private, then I will share it so I can learn more. At heart, I’m just a massive nerd who loves learning.
If my writing evokes curiosity, my readers may ask questions that I haven’t thought of. I’d love to learn from those questions. If my writing evokes joy or love, I’m glad. Even if my writing evokes negative emotions, like anger, I want to learn from the vitriol in my Substack comments, so please share it. If my writing evokes contempt, please troll me as hard as you possibly can, I will try to learn from it.
Right now, I am most curious about 2 questions and am unsatisfied by my own answers, so please share your thoughts with me in whichever way feels most natural:
How have you used writing to learn?
In an infinite world of letter permutations, how do you decide what not to write?
I look forward to reading.
1. I write a lot to process my emotions, and usually I learn something that I hadn't identified prior.
2. I think I just let words flow through, and whatever happens happens (rather than a strategic process of what to write or not)
1. I always took writing classes in college for the opportunity to feel productive (i.e be graded) while diving into random topics that I want to learn about. For example, I was excited about the entrepreneurial world at Berkeley and used a cultural writing assignment as an excuse to interview an inspiring female entrepreneur that I met at a hackathon. This gave me insight into and motivation to work in tech. I find it more difficult now to motivate myself to explore the outside world through writing, so it’s become more of a mental exercise.
2. Same as Dan. I think more about what I want to write about, which are currently topics to expand my imagination and perspective.